The Glue In The Palace Was Rarefied; The Putty Was Dreadful

A Play For Two Voices by Dobson

Bim - Look, here is a photograph of Gervase wearing spats.

Bam - Exactly what colour is that basin?

Bim - I am standing behind a plinth.

Bam - Can I have a look at that owl?

Bim - Do you know how to darn a balaclava?

Bam - I tell you, it is made of tin!

Bim - Let me have those bus tickets you are clutching.

Bam - I shudder when I think …

Bim - Oh look! A cormorant!

Bam - I need to get a bandage.

Bim - That pane of glass gives me the creeps.

Bam - Must I chew fennel?

Bim - Lend me a pin.

Bam - Rotate that thing again while I fetch the trumpets.

Bim - I thought it was an anagram of Pol Pot.

Bam - You unblock the drains & I'll wear a curious hat.

Bim - At eight o clock I will have to go to the pantry.

Bam - Did you know that Gerard Manley Hopkins mesmerised a duck?

Bim - Perhaps Maisie has gone to her boudoir.

Bam - Is that real dust?

Bim - The carapace of reason has been submerged in a puddle of confusion.

Bam - I can hear the dying groans of a police officer.

Bim - That is a very untidy lid!

Bam - Please show me how to use the whisk.

Bim - He used to have two of those cartons, but one was crushed.

Bam - Leave that cutlery where it belongs.

Bim - Can I take that delicious pudding back to my chalet?

Bam - Hand me that chaffinch.

Bim - Worse things happen at sea.

Bam - Perhaps it used to be a hydroelectric power station.

Bim - I had a nightmare about hens.

Bam - There is a very good biography by Grevel Lindop.

Bim - There is something sinister about that pot of mustard.

Bam - Have one of my spangles.

Bim - Tarry not 'neath the fat & sparkling stars.

Bam - I come from haunts of coot & hern.

Bim - (ecstatically) So do I!

(Curtain.)