Comments on: John Ruskin On The Train

By: Mike Jennings (Exiled In A Pompous Land)

Mike Jennings (Exiled In A Pompous Land) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 11:56:18 +0000

From ‘With William Burroughs: A Report From The Bunker’ Victor Bockris 1981

Burroughs: Did you hear about those young scoundrels who terrorized a train? We must get our cane brigade organized.

Bockris: Bill and I have organized a cane fighters group. Everyone has a cane like this and we’re going on to the subways. Three or four of us in the evening.

Ginsberg: New York City, 1980 – the Cane Brigade! On my block eveyone is armed with a staff or a cane.

Burroughs: These are great, terrifically effective weapons.

Bockris: There are many things you can do.

Burroughs: I’m ordering a blackjack for you.

Where I live now they really don’t worry about such things. They all simply have damned big guns… and many of them. Yet it is illegal to have fireworks here for private use. So while theres no Bonfire Night (of course) similar occassions, New Years, birthdays, are celebrated by the discharge of weapons into the air.

God bless….

By: Glyn Webster

Glyn Webster — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 02:37:48 +0000

I’ve been researching. We’re not the first people to put thought into adapting sword fighting techniques to umbrellas by a long shot. Which should be no surprise, really. For example, the British walking-stick/umbrella martial art is called bartitsu. Zapatopi.net recently republished a guide to bartitsu, adding 21st Century animated diagrams:

http://zapatopi.net/blog/?post=200905205540.self-defence_with_a_walking-stick

Bartitsu is being taught to Daily Mail readers, because criminals target “the vacant, the bewildered, people who didn’t know where they were going”.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-505637/Martial-arts-expert-teaches-pensioners-turn-walking-sticks-weapons.html

Okay, to be fair, it’s being taught to the elderly by Kevin Garwood, a concerned martial arts instructor, and it sounds like a good idea. I have to point something out though: I sometimes see people carrying walking sticks with heavy brass knobs, like the one Garwood is shown holding, but I’ve never the same person carrying the same walking stick twice. I think they get confiscated.

(Zapatopi.net is an excellent source of misinformation, by the way.)

By: Mike Jennings (Exiled In A Pompous Land)

Mike Jennings (Exiled In A Pompous Land) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 23:42:23 +0000

OSM picked the perfect exemplar.

However when he posted a link I was hoping for something more like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0YOlU3SMgs

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Mrs.Peel. Alas now I’m 50 you must be lets see… a Dame of the British Empire.

By: Phil

Phil — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 11:39:44 +0000

That would certainly make bus rides more enjoyable, especially if you are not one of the combatants.

I imagine the umbrella fencers in classic fencing pose: left arm in the air, wrist bent, straight back, legs akimbo, scuttling back and forth in that crab like motion. That would make me look up from my copy of Atlas Shrugged.

I like that you took the time to find the e with the accent over it.

I don’t think you’d have to develop a separate martial art for brollies. Your standard fencing would suffice. As a foil is as heavy as an angel’s flight feather, you’d be using sabre technique. On a ferry you could use one of the more flamboyant Chinese sword fighting arts, because there’s a little more space.

By: Outa_Spaceman

Outa_Spaceman — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 07:40:34 +0000

Of course, for examples of umbrella based combat we need look no further than Avenger John Steed…
Though what he’d be doing on any form public transport is a moot point…
Some useful tips can be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO8G5zsQohg

By: Glyn Webster

Glyn Webster — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 03:44:13 +0000

What’s called for here is some sort of Ã‰pÃ©e based martial art that can be performed with umbrellas. You and your opponent could jab back and forth and up and down the aisle without inconveniencing seated passengers. With the right practice and a strong umbrella you could hook an under-aesthetic chorister or over-aesthetic art critic away from a window and have him bailed up at the back of the bus in no time.

By: Elberry

Elberry — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 15:01:27 +0000

i believe my baton is illegal but as far as i can tell you can do just about anything these days without more than a verbal caution.

By: Phil

Phil — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 16:20:30 +0000

Can’t one be had by the peelers if they discover an expandable baton secreted about one’s person?

How about an umbrella? Poke with the pointy bit, bash with the handle, remain dry at the busstop.

Perhaps carrying an old fashioned brass telescope would not be suspected by the constabulary. You’d be able to fend off the burliest of ne-erdowells and you could take advantage of a clear night sky.

By: Elberry

Elberry — Sun, 31 May 2009 11:43:13 +0000

Several incidents on my bus ride to & from work inspired me to buy an expandable baton. i’ve had altercations on the street but these aren’t so bad – you can run away or throw your adversaries into the path of a bus – but if you’re on a bus you’re stuck, you have to fight, there’s no other option. Hence an expandable baton – a good way to fight without risk of accidentally killing someone – unless you go into The Frenzy, of course.

It’s best to avoid The Frenzy.

By: Outa_Spaceman

Outa_Spaceman — Sat, 30 May 2009 18:18:50 +0000

It seems to me that the only problem with public transport through out the decades has been the public…
Why only two days ago, when I had the unavoidable indignity of having to travel aboard an omnibus, an aesthetically challenged member of the public took great exception to my not removing my sombrero despite the fact that I had affixed a clearly worded notice detailing the absolute medicinal necessity for my having to wear it at all times.
Then, when I complied with her wishes, she had the temerity to ridicule my bouffant…
The country’s going to the dogs I tell you..