To test this hypothesis Mr Key would have to be willing to gawp countless hours at some other item, whose name is unrelated to visual activity (such as a thimble or a wedge), and (let us hope) report a lack of consequent stimulation to the cranium.

And to confirm it – lest critics allege a culpable lack of rigour in these investigations – he might consider leering for a fortnight or so at a saw. My guess is that this tool, whose name also figures in the conjugations of the verb ‘to see’, will make his brain fat with the lore of the workshop.

And thus one more pico-fragment of the furtive order of the universe will be revealed.