Comments on: Slops TV Transcript

By: John Barleycorn

John Barleycorn — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 11:07:43 +0000

Caution in this matter would indeed be well-advised. Before his career as unhinged and emotionally unstable athlete, Mr Paul “Gazza” Gascoigne was once a promising, bescholarshipped postgrad student at MIT. Some say that uncautious boasting of an unheretofore dreamed-of Centrifugal Gravy Accelerator reached vigilant and brooding ears, with consequences all too sadly apparent.

It is furthermore rumoured that Thomas Berthold was whistling “Close to You” in a provocative manner throught West Germany’s notorious encounter with England in the 1990 world cup : and I am certain that I do not need to tell you from what sordid receptacle the “bratensosse” was poured over pork dumplings served an the victory dinner held in the Teutonic dressing rooms in the wake of the match.

By: R

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 23:49:26 +0000

Work on a parallel product, the groovy baster, was all-but complete at New College, Oxford, in the late 1920s, but it came to naught on the death of the Warden in August 1930.

By: Outa_Spaceman

Outa_Spaceman — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:37:30 +0000

Chief among the Train and Boat oligarchs of course is undoubtedly song-smith Burt Bacharach…
The Gravy Plane has, as we all know, all but been erased from the public memory since the 1958 Munich Air disaster…
I fear Mr. Shuddery’s initiative may fall on deaf ears as we know that Mr. Bacharach will simply offer Stig & Nobo a chance to write a song with him and thus neutralise their petitioning…
Look what happened to Lives Costello…!
He must have had a highly persuasive argument for the gravy booster to warrant a whole albums worth of collaboration…

By: Tristan J. Shuddery

Tristan J. Shuddery — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 21:58:04 +0000

Frank,

for “train and boat people”, read “train and boat oligarchs”, for that is what they are.

By: Tristan Shuddery

Tristan Shuddery — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 19:22:42 +0000

Frank,

Do not believe the lies – all the technology required to make a cheap and efficient gravy-booster has existed for more than ten years. The fact that our stores are devoid of such products is evidence of a conspiracy orchestrated by the boat and train people.

As a child, I remember being informed that dinner-party tables in the new millennium would be adorned by high-tech gravy launchers: Precision controlled machines which would catapult specifically calibrated blobules of gravy onto the plates of the hungry. I have never lost sight of this vision, even if it remains science-fiction for the moment.

Do not think that I am content to sit by – I have begun a letter writing campaign which will expose the perfidity of the train and boat people; I have written to Sting, Bono and the Society of Jesus – one of whom I am confident will take up my case.

Tristan