Comments on: Diaries Of The Dead

By: Frank Key

Frank Key — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 15:49:55 +0000

T. Wellington : Hmmm. It’s a fair cop, guv.

By: Trubott Wellington

Trubott Wellington — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 13:25:25 +0000

You have hit upon one of the most controversial topics in the history of Hooting Yard. Mr Key does not apparently know the purpose of the contraption which you describe the above. It may indeed be a means of purging all thoughts of juggling from one’s mind, however in a 2004 radio lecture Mr. Key suggested that this device would also help it’s maker forget about the Pope. In a pamphlet he published years earlier, this was presented as a factual description of some apparatus intended to divine the meaning of certain crop-circles.

Surely these contradictions are sufficient evidence for us to call shenanigans on Mr. Key.

T. Wellington

By: Glyn Webster

Glyn Webster — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 03:37:50 +0000

Not so, I believe Mister Key described the Antikythera Mechanism of the Dobsonian/Blogettian (or “Non-BlÃ¶tzmann”) Calendrical System back in February of 2004, in his piece “How to Think of Things Other than Juggling”:

“…the intricately-wired snares snap shut and entrap the oiled plasticine clumps, thus momentarily halting the recurrent biting movements of the cogs on the discus, throwing shards of todge into the motor around which you will have placed canvas bags packed with candles in order to steady the persistent rattling of the ticker on the back of the iron sledge underneath the trolley carrying the double battery-powered hammer which serves to agitate the drum containing the four-inch blades detached from the rusted bowl of the compass…” &c.

By: Phil Smith

Phil Smith — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 01:03:05 +0000

Messrs Wellington and Webster – perhaps we should be grateful, then, that no evidence has come to light concerning any calendaric collusion between Blodgett and Dobson. I doubt the world could have borne it.

By: Trubott Wellington

Trubott Wellington — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 21:10:22 +0000

Frank – This article made me think of your earlier essay on “Blogettian Farming” which explained his wonderful four-month calendar. In hindsight Blodgett’s calendrical re-calibration does not seem so far-fetched!

By: Glyn Webster

Glyn Webster — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 07:13:16 +0000

It’s all quite simple really. On a day that is denoted twice in the Dobsonian calendar you work twice as hard as usual, unless one of those Dobsonian days is a holiday – in that case you are simply expected to enjoy your work. On days of the year missing from the Dobsonian calendar you stay at home with the blinds drawn. If you wake up on a Dobosnian day that does not correspond to any day of the year then your brain is in a bottle. It’s all quite simple, and it worked for Dobson. If you need to know more I’ll be walking the hills.

By: Frank Key

Frank Key — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:22:29 +0000

Stan : I shall embark upon a Dobson family tree when I have finished the large-scale hand-drawn map of Pointy Town & environs which has been occupying me for some years.

By: Stan Bismark

Stan Bismark — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:02:04 +0000

Can you tell us something of Dobson’s family history – perhaps you could publish a family tree?

By: Phil Smith

Phil Smith — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:10:42 +0000

I'm forced to wonder if these writings of unverified Dobsonity could in fact have been composed by the great out-of-print pamphleteer during the incident in which Dobson's brain was stolen. Were Cargpan with us now and privy to this development he might well have got to the bottom of it all. Still, suppose, just suppose that, despite being innocent of a body, Dobson were somehow able to compose this maddening stuff? To what purpose would he do such a thing? The irregular dating system (to say nothing of the all-cornflake diet that circumstances had forced upon him) would almost certainly have upset the fragile balance of his mind.

By: R

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 19:28:44 +0000

Get your algebraic rolling pins from Porgie’s Cannibal Grill