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	<title>Hooting Yard &#187; Mrs Gubbins</title>
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			<title>Hooting Yard</title>
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		<item>
		<title>On The Love Song Of Ah-Fang Van Der Houygendorp</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/8255</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/8255#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:23:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Essays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hootingyard.org/?p=8255</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Bathsheba Gubbins, thou art so fair!
With your crochet hooks and your basilisk stare.
Come away with me to the Land of Trolls
Where we&#8217;ll live underground like a pair of moles.
Bathsheba Gubbins! I know I&#8217;m a chump
But meet me tonight at the village pump.
Let the villagers mock, let the villagers gawp.
I am Ah-Fang Van Der Houygendorp
And I [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>G</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/5266</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/5266#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Sep 2010 15:22:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[A-Z]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hootingyard.org/?p=5266</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[G is for Mrs Gubbins, obviously
&#8220;Bathsheba Gubbins! You have been found guilty of a raggle-taggle salmagundi of crimes, some so heinous that they beggar belief and make strong men break down into convulsive weeping. Now, by dint of the awful and arbitrary power invested in me, do not ask when or by whom, I pronounce [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>One Thousand</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/3866</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/3866#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:56:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dobson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Farmer Frack]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pointy Town]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wax]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://hootingyard.org/?p=3866</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today there is cause for celebration. No, not the Muggletonian Great Holiday, that was last week. The reason for unbridled cheer is that what you are reading is the one thousandth postage at Hooting Yard since the site was rejigged at the beginning of 2007. (I cannot recall precisely how many postages appeared in the [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ask The Artificial Brain!</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/3091</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/3091#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 13 Sep 2009 12:25:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Halob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Ubermungo™ is Hooting Yard&#8217;s terrifically lifelike artificial brain, built out of dough and string and wax and coathangers and processed cheese triangles and fig newtons and titanium. Every Sunday, it answers readers&#8217; questions.
Dear Ubermungo™. I am a flapper. When I flap with too great enthusiasm, my cloche hat becomes dislodged. What advice would you give? [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Bungled Heists</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/2829</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/2829#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 09 Aug 2009 14:41:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blodgett]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[At the last count, Blodgett is thought to have been involved in no fewer than six bungled heists. By comparing the circumstances of each heist, we may learn not only about their bunglement, but something, too, about Blodgett the man.
First heist. The plan was to steal a consignment of birdseed being delivered to a crow [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Punchy &amp; Zippy &amp; Bangy &amp; Crashy</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/1935</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/1935#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Feb 2009 08:02:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twaddle]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hootingyard.org/?p=1935</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week, Mrs Gubbins suffered some sort of mental collapse and called in a team of consultants to overhaul the Hooting Yard &#8220;brand image&#8221;. The octogenarian crone put aside her knitting and got it into her head that what was needed was a brand new logo. &#8220;It has to be punchy and zippy and bangy [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Tea Cosies : Your Questions Answered</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/498</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/498#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 27 Jul 2008 17:25:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hootingyard.org/?p=498</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[After I posted the piece entitled Denktash Fugue Syndrome, in which mention is made of Mrs Gubbins and her knitted tea cosies, I was deluged with mail from younger readers who complained that they had no idea what I was talking about. The general tone of these missives was along the lines of &#8220;Oi, Mr [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>9</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Denktash Fugue Syndrome</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/497</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/497#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 27 Jul 2008 14:33:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dobson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Little Severin The Mystic Badger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hootingyard.org/?p=497</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins, the octogenarian crone given to knitting and villainy, has recently come under the supervision of a doctor. It will not be too long before she becomes a nonagenarian crone, and though she is in terrifyingly tiptop health for one so aged, there have been signs that all is not well. First there was [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://hootingyard.org/archives/497/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Robust And Transparent</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/379</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/379#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Mar 2008 08:11:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Little Severin The Mystic Badger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hootingyard.org/?p=379</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It is ever more apparent that Hooting Yard needs to be both robust and transparent. I want to move the debate forward, and that is why I am making arrangements for someone &#8211; possibly the octogenarian crone Mrs Gubbins &#8211; to clamber up a ladder on to the roof of a large and imposing building [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://hootingyard.org/archives/379/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hot Things</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/269</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/269#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Oct 2007 07:46:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twaddle]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hootingyard.org/?p=269</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Among the most inventive minds at work today are our management consultants, those busy-brained men and women forever thinking up exciting new ideas for the world of work. We are all, I hope, familiar by now with &#8220;Hot Desking&#8221;, a revolutionary approach which allows a business to sell off half of its office furniture for [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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