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	<title>Hooting Yard &#187; Old Halob</title>
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		<item>
		<title>On Having The Prize Within One&#8217;s Grasp</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/8333</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/8333#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:39:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bobnit Tivol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dobson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Essays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Halob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Thump thump thump. What is that sound? It is the sound of a human heart, stimulated by excitement, beating harder and more rapidly than it is wont to do when the body or the brain is at rest. I am sure you can think of dozens, if not hundreds, of circumstances in which the human [...]]]></description>
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		<title>On Voodoo Athletics</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/8069</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/8069#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Jan 2012 16:49:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bobnit Tivol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Essays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Halob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[This being an Olympic year, it is perhaps time to scotch a rumour that has swirled persistently around the world of fictional athletics for decades. You will recall that fictional athlete Bobnit Tivol is alleged to have left a written record of the gifts he received one Christmastide from his all too real coach, Old [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Athlete Wrestling With A Python</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/7065</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/7065#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Aug 2011 18:52:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bobnit Tivol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Halob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[On a frosty winter&#8217;s morning in the middle of the twentieth century, legendary athletics coach Old Halob stood at the side of a running track, stopwatch in hand, Homburg on head, racked with catarrh and puffing a cigarette. He was much perturbed. His protégé, fictional athlete Bobnit Tivol, was pounding round and round the track [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Fictitious Sports</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/5189</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/5189#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:47:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bobnit Tivol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Halob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[It is monumentally curious, is it not, that fictional athlete Bobnit Tivol won renown in sports which are not, themselves, remotely fictional? Polevaulting and haring round and round a running track are both activities in which plenty of non-fictional athletes have taken part, in the past as in the present day. Now, the release of [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Hamstrung, Pointy &amp; Downcast</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/4836</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/4836#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Jul 2010 13:26:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bobnit Tivol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Halob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[The rebranding exercise applied to the seven dwarves, of Snow White&#8217;s acquaintance, has by any measure been a PR triumph. Everyone is familiar with their names. Would that were so with Hamstrung, Pointy and Downcast, a trio now largely forgotten, so much so that even the cleverest brainboxes would be hard pressed to say whether [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Bobnit Tivol : The Lost Interview</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/4464</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/4464#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 May 2010 17:28:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bobnit Tivol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Halob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Poking about in a clogged flue with a wire brush, the noted historian of athletic pursuits Alonzo Potentate was intrigued to find a reel of magnetic tape. Caked as it was with the gunk of ages, he had it cleaned by professionals. And boy oh boy were they professional! Operating from a cabin on a [...]]]></description>
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		<title>The Star On The Vest</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/3988</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/3988#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:10:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bobnit Tivol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Halob]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Dear Mr Key, writes Dagmar Glossop from Shoeburyness, I recently came upon this terrific photograph at My Ear-Trumpet Has Been Struck By Lightning (where a much, much larger version can be seen), and I fell to wondering if it might be a rare snapshot of fictional athlete Bobnit Tivol. Please enlighten me.

Dear Ms Glossop, I [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Rare Bobnit Tivol Mezzotints</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/3191</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/3191#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2009 21:22:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Auctions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bobnit Tivol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Halob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[You will be perplexed, or perhaps even sick with worry, at the unaccustomed lack of postages over the past few days. Has Hooting Yard been ravaged by some kind of toxic gas? Has Mr Key fallen down a mineshaft? Readers, fear not. All is well, but I have been terribly, terribly distracted, and in the [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Ask The Artificial Brain!</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/3091</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/3091#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 13 Sep 2009 12:25:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mrs Gubbins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Halob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Ubermungo™ is Hooting Yard&#8217;s terrifically lifelike artificial brain, built out of dough and string and wax and coathangers and processed cheese triangles and fig newtons and titanium. Every Sunday, it answers readers&#8217; questions.
Dear Ubermungo™. I am a flapper. When I flap with too great enthusiasm, my cloche hat becomes dislodged. What advice would you give? [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Big Damp Castle</title>
		<link>http://hootingyard.org/archives/2821</link>
		<comments>http://hootingyard.org/archives/2821#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 07 Aug 2009 17:51:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Frank Key</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bobnit Tivol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Old Halob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pointy Town]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[According to the Gazetteer Of The Bailiwicks Of Pointy Town, Big  Damp Castle is &#8220;a singularly fine example of an enormous foetid fortification covered in mould&#8221;. As its name would suggest, the castle is both big and damp. It has always been damp, ever since it was built hundreds of years ago slap bang [...]]]></description>
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