A Website by Frank Key
Elberry’s Ghost comes to the rescue of the tongue-tied:
One student said, rather taken aback by the sudden torrent of runology: “How do you know this?” i thought about this for a bit then said, “i’m just interested in runes and things like that. i know people in Finland.”
It occurs to me that “i know people in Finland” is an excellent catch-all response to just about any question.
Here is a verbatim transcript of a snatch of dialogue from my dream last night.
Boffin : You do realise that the entire human brain could be recreated in the lab from a single cell of a finch?*
Mr Key : Would that be an attractive little finch like the siskin?
Boffin : Sadly, no.
Attractive little finch courtesy of the Fleet Pond Blog
* NOTE : My dream-boffin speaks false, of course. This is not actually true. Just my luck to have dreams peopled by mendacious boffins!
Outa_Spaceman rightly calls into question the caption on this photograph. “Surely this is none other than Tiny Enid?” he asks. Indeed, it is almost certainly the plucky little fascist, and one wonders why the captioneer felt the need to pretend it was a tot called Doreen. Note that the besuited chap in the background is holding the heroic infant’s lit cigarillo and bakelite prize ashtray behind his back.
There have of course been innumerable attempts to rewrite the true history of Tiny Enid. Readers are advised to rely solely on the accounts given here. We know what we’re talking about at Hooting Yard.
Mr Key has recruited a hare-brained academic with wild hair and smudged spectacles to carry out an analysis of search terms which fetch people up at Hooting Yard. You will recall that some poor soul came here having sought information on “character flaw of mediaeval peasant”. Among recent phrases of interest are:
Iron wolf implements
Victorian aether ships
John Le Mesurier dentures
Mormon goat
How to make a crow
How to cook a cormorant
I am hoping my befuddled academic discovers that the person seeking culinary tips for cormorants was Peter Maxwell Davies, the Master of the Queen’s Music famed for his swan-eating activities. We shall wait and see.
