The two most consistently popular search terms leading interweb hikers to swing open the gates of Hooting Yard, far ahead of all rivals, are bees and ectoplasm. Occasionally, some befuddled soul gets here after searching for bee ectoplasm. Another favourite, much to my delight, is Googie Withers, though the 92-year-old screen siren gets misspelled as Google Withers in some searches, which makes one wonder what is going on inside some people’s cranial integuments. And then of course there are the search terms which are arresting in their singularity. Today someone came to Hooting Yard because they wanted to find out about character flaw of mediaeval peasant.

Anyway, perhaps I should write a piece in which Googie Withers, taunted by a particularly pesky bee, paralyses it with a splurge of ectoplasm. Or, alternatively, a bee taunted by a particularly pesky nonagenarian actress stops her in her tracks by emitting a jet of ectoplasmic bee goo.

Either scenario could provide heroic tot Tiny Enid with the perfect pretext to come clomping club-footedly to the rescue, of either Googie Withers or the bee.

Which scene warms your cockles? Vote now and vote often!