Here is the official Hooting Yard bird forecast for south-east England. Today’s guest forecaster is Dame Vera Lynn.

There’ll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover tomorrow.

NOTE : Hooting Yard is not responsible for any inaccuracies in the bird forecasts provided by our guests. And quite frankly, Dame Vera has been trotting out precisely the same forecast at regular intervals for the past seven decades. As far as we are aware, nobody has ever thought to carry out a statistical analysis of the accuracy, or otherwise, of her claims. Nor is her methodology at all clear. Certainly it is grotesque to think that she makes her pronouncements after “reading” the still-throbbing hot entrails of freshly-slaughtered bluebirds, a theory propounded by some irresponsible scalliwags in the Dover-based organisation Cliffwatch. Those people wouldn’t know a haruspex if one came up and biffed them in the chops.

Tomorrow’s bird forecast will be presented by special guest Dame Vera Lynn.