While watching Die Hard 4.0 the other day, it occurred to me that things might pan out very differently if, in films featuring laptop-wielding cybercriminals, the malefactors had to rely on PCs using Windows Vista.

Criminal mastermind cackles evilly and issues a command to his technowhizz sidekick.

“Upload the virus now!”

Sidekick nods, taps the keys… and on his screen, a message appears:

“Please wait. Windows is checking for updates and carrying out several other incomprehensible and purposeless activities. This may take a few minutes, or possibly hours, during which time your computer will make little whirring noises. Do not power off or unplug your machine.”