As I am sure all Hooting Yardists know, Deuteronomy 8.8 reads : “A land of wheat, and barley, and vines, and fig trees, and pomegranates; a land of oil olive, and honey” – now all packed into one delicious snack bar!
You can find some other holy confectionery here, but before stuffing your face to the point of gluttony, do remember that elsewhere in Deuteronomy we are reminded of “that great and terrible wilderness, wherein were fiery serpents, and scorpions, and drought” (ie, Pointy Town).
Mr Key,
Perhaps you could enthrall us all one day by publishing an all-bible-diet; that is one in which the only foods the dieter may eat are those which have been explicitly mentioned in the bible, or possibly implicitly hinted at in the way the bible seems to hint at so many possibilities.
I suspect that this would be no simple task, even for a man such as yourself who was almost appointed Pope. You may need to appoint a committee of cardinals and rabbis, each of which would be tasked with scouring the pages of the King James bible for references to foods, agricultural commodities or even dietary supplements.
This committe would take great care to distinguish metaphorical foodstuffs from actual products which may have been consumed by The Christ or his Desciples: For example the new testament contains a “Parable of the Mustard Seed” – but this being simply a parable no mustard was consumed. Therefore it should be the topic of lengthy debate whether mustard be permitted in your new diet – do you see how it works?
I imagine that this would be a perfect diet for morally upright citizens wishing to put more vim and pep into their lives of sober rectitude.
Respectfully,
T. Shuddery