Important Hooting Yard postages are unlikely to appear over the following week while I become a temporary member of the international jet-set. During this period, the best thing you lot can do by way of coping is to sprawl in a ditch and sob your little hearts out. To assist you in this endeavour, here is a snap of the sort of ditch in which you ought to sprawl.
There isnt room in the ditches here. They are very large ditches indeed but they tend to be occupied by belligerent Egrets and mordant Herons.
I plan to divert myself by popping in each morning and typing some random word into the search box and seeing what emerges. I began with ‘lint’ which search proved to be highly productive.
I have often wondered, apropos the formation of this type of ditch, how it is that they cut such a deep and narrow ditch without severing the roots of the nearby tall, innocent, wooden beings which can be seen to span the mire bespattered chasm.
I require further guidance. I have found the requisite ditch, but await instructions as to the type of sprawl I should perform. Should I lie parallel to the direction of the drainage, or at a certain angle? Facing in which direction? Moreover, what is the recommended dress code for sobbing one’s heart out?