A rare film still from the even rarer documentary film Tiny Enid – Plucky Tot, never, so far as we know, ever screened, anywhere, ever, and almost certainly lost.
Hooting Yard
A rare film still from the even rarer documentary film Tiny Enid – Plucky Tot, never, so far as we know, ever screened, anywhere, ever, and almost certainly lost.
That looks like the best film ever. But why is the image named 10432473_10152706315523107_7125448446460604947_n.jpg? What lies behind this code?
As is well known, The Beatles wrote the theme song for this movie. When the film was shelved, they simply revamped the words and bunged the song out on ‘Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’ as ‘Lovely Rita’. My question is, who has the original fab demo with the ‘Tiny Enid’ text, and how can we get hold of it?
Dear Mr Key,
Yes, I am an anonymous über-fanatical Beatles completist with no interests whatever except expanding my ever-expanding lifetime shrine packed with Fabs Ephemera that is growing all the time. In the course of my midnight Googlings in search of unknowable Merseybeat minutiae I came across the enquiry, or inquiry, from your own correspondent about the original filmtrack words of the beat song by John Winston Ono Lennon (dead) and/or James Paul McCartney (not dead still) known to the pop public as ‘Lovely Rita, Meter Maid’. Racking all the tracks in my one-track mind I finally realised I had this track, and finally tracked it down inside my Cavernous archives on an über-rare Beatleg (so rare in fact that there is only one copy of it in the world, which I possess in vinyl, eight-track, 48 rpm DAT disc, and Röntgen Implant formats) entitled ‘Lost Liverpudliana (Found)’. I half-remember snapping this up at a Completists’ Convention long, long ago in a swap, or swop, for my spare set of inflatable Moptops waxworks (which was a snip and a half because they were not in mink condition by a long short, but we must let bygones, be bygones). I had never bothered to listen to this ultra-rare movie theme-film rarity until tonight, when I have just taken the pleasure to transcribed it’s original lyric with which you will agree is über-fantastic and so much more wholesome and – dare I? – say it transcendental that the original. One does wonder why the film was never finished. I trust you querant will enjoy yelling it in voice-over while spinning the familiar iconic LP waxing which the Fab Four re-wrote on the theme of Traffic Parking, and preceded, with hindsight, to define the sleazy ‘Zeitgeist’ of the self-styled Summer of Love, so many moths before any of us was, or were, born.
(sing now)
Tiny Enid, plucky tot
Tiny Enid, plucky tot!
Tiny Enid, plucky tot
Nothing can come between us
Blow upon blow you take my breath away
Listen man, I really mean it
Stay away from Tiny Enid
Even Mussolini wouldn’t give her what for
Chews cheroots to look much older
Big bazooka on her shoulder
Rifled from the carcase of a military man
Tiny Enid, plucky tot
May I inquire discreetly
When you foresee a jug of gin with me?
Wanna date the two-foot sniper?
Clock the club foot, dig the diaper?
Get inside the bonnet and the polka-dot dress?
That’s a den you’ll never enter
Till you kill her Mystery Mentor
Burn him on the boiler with a blister or two
Oh, Tiny Enid, plucky tot
Where would we be without you?
Licking our lips at ‘Ipsy Dipsy Doo’
Tiny Enid, plucky tot
Tiny Enid, plucky tot
Etc etc etc, vamp until ready.