You don’t visit Hooting Yard to read about Paris Hilton, but there is something magnificent about this story from yesterday’s Guardian. I have emboldened the most jaw-dropping passages:

… the heiress and socialite yesterday appealed to fans to sign an online petition urging California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to commute her 45-day sentence for driving while disqualified. “If the late former president Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon former president Richard Nixon after his mistake(s),” reads the appeal, “we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well, and we expect that the governor will understand and grant this unusual but important request.”

Ms Hilton, 26, was sentenced on May 5 after being pulled over while driving her £120,000 Bentley along Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles, in February. Her licence had been suspended for 36 months last year for driving while drunk. She had told the judge she was not aware this meant she was unable to drive, since she never read her own mail. “I have people who do that for me,” she said. “I just sign what people tell me to sign.”

The letter to Mr Schwarzenegger says Ms Hilton should be freed because “she provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.”

Ms Hilton’s lawyers have filed notice of her intent to appeal. Should that fail she will be required to present herself to the women’s prison in south Los Angeles on June 5. There she will share an austere cell, wear an orange jumpsuit and pass the time with just three magazines or a book, though she will be in a “special needs” wing thanks to her celebrity status.