Mr Key tries to avoid ranting here at Hooting Yard. If he started, he might never stop. But something got his goat today, belatedly and unexpectedly, so bear with him please.

And so we are about to enter the new Dark Ages. Things are bad enough already, in Papworld, ruled by airheads for airheads. Now we enter the Era of Pap and Darkness. A dim society gets dimmer, in more ways than one.

I read about the new criminal status of the 100W light bulb a while ago, but only now have I summoned my rage. This is what happens. Relentless idiocy begets inertia even in those of us who still cling helplessly and hopelessly to the Raft of Sense.

Well, I shall blunder about, in the gloom, half-blind, calling down imprecations upon the filament-bulb-hating nitwits. But eventually I will start shouting “Bring me my blubber candles! Forward to the Dark Ages! Give me dimly-lit pap or give me death!” And I shall be a good citizen at last, and be given my badge.