The new logo for the 2012 London Olympics has caused a flap. Sorry, itâ€™s not a logo, itâ€™s a brand, a brand which, according to diminutive Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell, â€œtakes our values to the world beyond our shores, acting both as an invitation and an inspirationâ€. I agree, and I know that Hooting Yardâ€™s values are exactly the same in every last detail as Tessaâ€™s. In fact, at an editorial conclave the other day, loveable octogenarian crone Mrs Gubbins looked up from her knitting and said â€œWhen in doubt, just ask â€˜What would Tessa Jowell do?â€™â€ and we all nodded in recognition of the deep wisdom of those words. (All except the bloated janitor, of course, who still swears by Blunkett, but thatâ€™s another story.)
Certain people seem to think that the logo â€“ the brand, the brand! â€“ is devoid of content and meaning, and make the same charge against Tessaâ€™s words. Such carping is only to be expected. For my money, anything Tessa Jowell says ought to be carved in stone and studied, much as one would study the work of a great literary giant. The rewards are immense.
To show that I know what Iâ€™m talking about, we commissioned a new Hooting Yard brand, the better to embody our values. It cost slightly more than the Â£400,000 price tag of the Olympic thing of beauty, but Iâ€™m sure you will agree that it was money well spent. At a meeting to identify funding, the vitamin-deficient inmates of Pang Hill Orphanage insisted that they can cope with severely reduced gruel rations for the next forty years. Indeed, they have never looked so blissful.