In my cupboard at The Dabbler this week, I have transcribed the words of a children’s song appropriate for today’s date.

The song is taken from a garish publication of the last century entitled Special Agent Rastus Blot’s Traditional Songbook For Winsome Tinies. It was a piece of spectacular self-aggrandisement by Blot. Though the songs purport to be much-loved chants and ditties sung by billions of children around the world, they were all in fact devised by the Special Agent himself, and feature him in a starring role, carrying out deeds of daring and bravado. When I did some research into the matter, I discovered that not one tiny has been heard singing any of these songs, anywhere, ever.

Quite frankly, if you are going to present an urchin with a book as a gift, I would give Special Agent Rastus Blot’s farrago of nonsense a wide berth and buy Impugned By A Peasant & Other Stories instead.