I attended a seminar recently which had the jaunty title “Comments Policies For Bloggers : How To Make Them Harsh And Unforgiving”. It was all very tiresome, and the “facilitator”, as he insisted on calling himself, in spite of the fact that the facilities were woeful, had little understanding of a blog such as Hooting Yard. Here, the prose is defiantly sensible and the comments more sensible still.

It struck me, however, that I have never made the Hooting Yard Comments Policy clear. I will do so now. New visitors may not be aware that reading the comments here is compulsory, and is due to be enforced by an exciting – if somewhat alarming – software device. If, in future, you do not click on the comments, your computer will be disabled, your tongue will cleave to the roof of your mouth, your hovel will be infested with pale mutant creeping things, and you will no longer receive visits from outreach workers from your local Harsh And Unforgiving Community Outreach Cadet Squadron.

I have taken this step to ensure that readers do not miss such treats as the discussion of pippy bags to be found here, or – to pluck just one of numerous profundities – wst’s emotionally wrenching comment on The Roads To Jaywick.

Moves are afoot to make the writing, as well as the reading, of comments equally compulsory, but the boffins in the software lab have all gone on a well-deserved autumn break to the eerie Land of Gaar.