I read in the paper today that the governors of a new primary school in Sheffield have decided the word “school” has “negative connotations” and it will thus be known as a “place for learning”. No doubt staff and pupils (or whatever euphemisms they use for them) will find their way around the place by following the “directional pointing devices” so favoured by John Birt when he was in charge of the BBC. I am disappointed, of course, that they neglected to use the correct phrase for “school”, which as we know is “community education hub”.

Horace Walpole wrote that “Sheffield is one of the foulest towns in England”, though he did buy a pair of “quite pretty” candlesticks while he was there.