Antipodean Chicken-Dyeing

You will be pleased to learn that Mr Key has returned from his sojourn on foreign shores, refreshed, revivified, and ready to shower you once again with sweeping paragraphs of majestic prose. I am not going to tell you much, if anything, about my jaunt, but I think it is worth noting that I met, on my travels, a man called Dave, from Australia who, when young, used to dye chickens different colours. It was not entirely clear to me whether he did this as a form of gainful employment, or for his own entertainment. It might even have been art. I mention this because it occurred to me that an Antipodean chicken-dyer could prove a useful recurring character in the various doings recounted here at Hooting Yard. We shall see.

Oh, one more thing. I was startled to discover that Dave was unable to name the four members of The Seekers. I have long believed – with good reason – that it is the mark of any civilised person, and certainly of any civilised Antipodean, that they can rattle off those names without even having to think, much as one might list John, Paul, George, and Ringo (not forgetting Yoko, of course), or Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, or Wynken, Blynken, and Nod. I have no doubt that every single one of my readers will be as baffled as I was by Dave’s inability in this regard. Perhaps a lethal chemical constituent of the dyes used on those chickens long ago bedizened his brainpans.

2 thoughts on “Antipodean Chicken-Dyeing

  1. Welcome back, Frank. Having embarked on a sea voyage in the company of an Australian chicken-dyer, I hope you steered clear of fowl-weather…

  2. I have recently spent some memorable time abroad with Mr Key and there is a chance I may have met Dave. Though the international glue that binds so many disparate travellers that manifest itself in the well respected rule of” what happens on tour stays on tour ” prevents further expansion . Unlike the discussion of the phnumatic pheasant conversation that followed the fowl doings debate.

    Despite my admiration for Mr Key, some corrections are in order. The antipode of London is
    actually 983.834 kilometers or 611.326 miles southeast of Dunedin, New Zealand. Which goes someway to explain why Captain Cook discovered Australia some 200 years after the Dutch.

    Further the vernacular for chicken in Aus is chook.

    Mr Key spent considerable time admonishing the lack of knowledge of the Seekers. It’s note worthy that many of the merry travellers were either not born or were in primary school when the Seekers were in their prime. Dave offered to test the theory that primary school children should have intimate knowledge of musical icons by interviewing local children. Another traveller, Jeremy, an ex BBC floor manager advised against Australian celebrities going anywhere near children. The group agreed.

    The theory remains untested.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.