Cuthbert Spraingue! Cuthbert Spraingue!
He’s the boss of the Mayonnaise Gang!
His head’s the same colour as his shoes.
He darts between elms & bays & yews.
He came unglued on St Bibblybibdib’s Day.
A cart pulled up to take him away.
He fought them off with pins and straw,
Just pins and straw and nothing more.
They say he’s related to Nobby Stiles,
According to the police station files,
But he denies any links by blood
To Nobby. memorably smeared with mud
At the end of that match in ’66.
Cuthbert Spraingue loathes Weetabix
And Coco-pops and Special K.
He eschews breakfast every day,
But his days still go with a bang!
For he’s the boss of the Mayonnaise Gang!
Cuthbert Spraingue! Cuthbert Spraingue!