Another one from the archives…

Historians of crime have long been fascinated by the Birdbag family, whose exploits were regularly recorded in the penny dreadfuls of their day. Seldom has such purple prose been so apt, for their deeds were truly the last word in scampishness and mischief. To rekindle the memories of older readers, and to introduce a new generation to this dastardly clan, here is a brief guide.

 

Corky Birdbag, the fiend who pushed a knock-kneed unfortunate into a lake, and stole his bus ticket.

 

Polly Birdbag, whose forgery of Selected Poems by Walter Pater fooled a docent at the University of Ack.

 

Old Ma Birdbag, whose tunnels were so expertly dug that the police thought moles were responsible.

 

 

Venkad Birdbag, the so-called “Cardboard Hooter Man”, who hooted through a cardboard funnel.

 

 

Loopy Birdbag, the woman who sent consignments of boiled sweets to Stalin and Barbara Stanwyck at whim.

 

 

Fontella Bass-Birdbag, the queasy maven of sabotage who did dark deeds with a whisk and a pin-cushion.

 

 

Park Fang Birdbag, desperate banjo player who often stood next to nondescript ponds for no purpose but evil.

 

 

Smedley Birdbag, wanted by the police of four continents for doing something weird with a toy pig sty.