The other day, Little Severin the Mystic Badger was seen scrubbling around in a patch of wasteland. It rapidly became apparent that his scratching and snuffling were in fact mystic prognostications about next week’s G20 summit in London. We asked an expert to translate Little Severin’s prophecies into human prose.
And lo, people wearing woolly hats will take unto the streets. And there will be among them many young folk of the middle classes. And in the streets they will shout imprecations at anyone wearing a tie and they shall shout slogans also. And all the omnibuses carrying poorer people to their work will become snarled up in the jams of traffic. And there will be much incoherence and smug self-satisfaction. There will be the throwing of pebbles and the smashing of glass and the claims of oppression. And in the leafy streets of north London, in large houses, there will be nodding of approval from academics and media folk equally oppressed. And there will be no focus to the rage of those in woolly hats save their enjoyment of unfocused rage. And in Bishopsgate the more well-heeled of the young folk will set up a “climate camp” and shout ill-thought-out demands. And many of these persons will fly off around the world in the summer on their “gap years”. And it will be seen as a great victory when many people are inconvenienced or bloodied. And in the days succeeding much twaddle will be written and spouted by those of the airhead persuasion. All this I foretell.