Watch this, as I hoist from its sublunar obscurity in the Comments Crate this observation from R. upon Bird Imperilment And Pig Terror:

 I would greatly like to acquire a pneumatic belligerometer, (not least because it would serve as such a handsome source of anagrams such as

Barometric legume penlite,

Beagle courtier implement,

Beetle-glimmer precaution,

Collegiate number-emptier,

Cremation temple beguiler,

Electable meringue import,

Emblematic leering troupe,

Enigmatic petroleum rebel,

Geometrical perineum belt,

Globule empire remittance,

Immutable ogre percentile,

Impermeable ingot lecture,

Lemming teepee-lubricator,

Mantelpiece goitre-rumble,

Memorable eugenic triplet,

Metabolic eremite plunger,

Mincemeat bilge poulterer,

Molecular beeping emitter,

Nebulae piglet micrometer,

Noticeable glum perimeter,

Piecemeal mongrel tribute,

Plebeian telecommuter rig,

Pliable morgue centimeter,

Polemical brunette regime,

Renegotiable lime crumpet,

Republican grime omelette,

Rubella peering-committee,

Telegenic pubertal memoir,

Temper guillotine embrace,

Tolerable genetic premium

etc) … can Mr Key perhaps advise about a source? I have a feeling the answer will be Huberman’s … in which case, some link to an online ’store locator’ would be helpful.

I may have mentioned before my view that R. was born a few hundred years too late, and would clearly have been a prime candidate for the post of Royal Anagrammatist at the court of Louis XIV, or possibly Louis XVI. I always get them mixed up, unlike the earlier Frankish kings, with whose doings I am frighteningly familiar. Whether XIV or XVI, Louis did indeed employ someone to devise anagrams for the purpose of foretelling the future and bringing arcana to light. R., too, may have foretold the future, in the sense that any or all of the above phrases may spark some fizz in Mr Key’s cranium, resulting in a piece of sensible prose. Watch this space.

The last I heard, Huberman’s sold off their dwindling supply of pneumatic belligerometers to a passing pedlar, who careens along the lanes of some godforsaken part of the country in an unregistered ice cream van. Hail it to a halt, and he might sell one to you.