Ahoy there, Frank!, writes Tim Thurn, irritatingly, Are you sure you’re not confusing Dobson’s Cacodaemon with his Cocoademon? I recall reading somewhere that the titanic pamphleteer once unscrewed the lid from a jar of cocoa and unleashed a ferocious sprite which made his life a misery for about a week. Everywhere he went he found cocoa powder splattered in his path. Some of us wouldn’t be too bothered by that. If it were me, I’d avail myself of a little plastic scoop, and scoop up the cocoa powder, because I truly love cocoa, and drink seven or eight mugs of it a day. But apparently Dobson wasn’t so fond, and he was only unscrewing the lid from the jar as research for his pamphlet Notes Upon The Unscrewing Of Lids From Jars (out of print). He hadn’t even bought the jar of cocoa, he was just wandering through the aisles in Hubermann’s Food Hall hoping no one would spot what he was doing. I have never read that pamphlet, by the way, so is there any chance you could find a copy and transcribe it on your splendid website?

Dear Tim, replies Mr Key, Making up titles of spurious Dobson pamphlets is no way for a grown man to behave. I suggest you do something more useful with your life, such as projectile vomiting in the direction of Andy Burnham.