Library Clown Traumas

“True confession:  I have had two library clown traumas in my career.” – Mary, at Awful Library Books.

Mary clearly did not work at the Pointy Town Municipal Library during the 1950s, or she would have had many more such traumas. Between 1952 and 1958, the library was staffed entirely by frightful clowns in full traditional clown costume, as part of a “social engineering experiment” conducted by the Blötzmannite head librarian, one Barb Crutch. She never made clear the purpose of her scheme, nor indeed its results. She died in the Munich Air Disaster, puzzlingly, for no one ever discovered what connection she had with the Busby Babes, and her replacement as head librarian quietly dropped the clown business. One Tuesday morning in March 1958, she tricked all the staff into thinking they were going on a charabanc outing, and once they were all aboard, she persuaded the driver to take them to a big top erected on a piece of land reserved for government nerve gas tests. So ended the reign of clowns at Pointy Town Municipal Library.

Further reading : Library Clown Traumas – What They Are & How To Shake Them Out Of Your Head Good And Proper Using Bleach & A Dog Whistle by Dobson (out of print).

2 thoughts on “Library Clown Traumas

  1. Couldn’t help noticing that the title of today’s Hooting Yard piece seems to have been anagrammatically
    derived from my song ‘Lumbar Coils Warranty’, originally written for the 37th birthday of the poet DLB …


    Ocarinas warmly blurt : rats manically burrow
    Ancillary marrow tubs : warm botanical slurry
    Army lawn lubricators : abnormally rustic war
    Scaly marrow tribunal : cranium-ballast worry

    Arbitrary mollusc, wan : walrus/crab normality
    Canary’s brawl turmoil : macaw’s tribunal lorry
    Womanly altar rubrics : crowbar’s manly ritual
    Surly barrow-claimant : crawly matron’s burial

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