The mountain apothecary with his bag so black. Is it a bag or is it a sack? He heaves it up the mountain on his back. It is full of pills and potions.
But no one lives upon this peak. So as he climbs who does he seek? Ah, look, a goat, a goat so weak. He’ll pamper it with his lotions.
The mountain apothecary is no vet. The weakened goat’s our hero’s pet. He trapped it once, within a net. But now it roams the slopes.
The air is thin when one’s so high. The goat is weak and it may die. The apothecary wears a Catholic tie. He’s treated several Popes.
A Papist apothecary, do you say? On the mountain this very day? I would drown him in the bay, for I say he’s a sinner.
Aye, a sinner and a heretic! Evil is what makes him tick. Almighty God, he makes me sick. I’ll vomit up my dinner.
I ate in the chalet at the foot of the mount. Me and a baron and a Protestant count. Oh we ate a huge amount, of mountain goat and hog.
See the apothecary come back down. He’s taking his goat into the town, where there’s a vet of great renown. I’ll shove him into the bog.
“Papist Apothecary Drowned In Bog”, the headline in my Daily Log. Now I’ll march off into the fog, and vanish whence I came.
I came from haunts of coot and hern. There I watch the Papists burn. Repent! Before it is your turn, and shudder at my name.
A handful of tomorrow’s headlines …
Teapots approach unanimity
Typhus importation panacea
No parasympathetic utopian
Patchy anaemia opportunist
Unhappy sarcomata petition
Typecast humanitarian poop
Aphasia appointment outcry
Uppity inamorata’s cenotaph
Unemphatic spotty paranoia
Soppy traumata phonetician
Apathetic parsnip autonomy
Unanimity potato scrapheap
Emancipation apathy stupor
Appoint spaceman authority
Sappy harmonica outpatient
Appoint yeoman parachutist
Anticipatory phantom pause
Happy tapioca menstruation
Unapparent sociopath amity
Unhappy apostate mortician
Pariah company outpatients
Toucan’s empathy apparition
Happy amputations reaction
Paramount hepatitis canopy
Trauma-syncopation epitaph
Unsympathetic papa oration
Companion statuary epitaph
These stirring words are sure to make any misguided followers of the bishop of Rome repent from his foolish ways.
I didn’t rate Sappy harmonica outpatient’s second album…
O.S.M.
That is because by the time of the second album the power had gone to his head, quality control was forgotten and well…
Ah tape poop tyrant musician