Derailed By Bees

How right I was to predict that the Beecam would derail my harebrained scheme to make Hooting Yard a daily blog! Here is what happened yesterday:

5.15 AM : Leap out of bed and plump myself in front of the beecam. Become enthralled.

7.24 AM : Consider basic needs, such as washing and dressing and eating a hearty breakfast of kedgeree and bloaters and smokers’ poptarts, but am so overwhelmed by the beecam that I postpone any activity.

11.45 AM : Bee-haunted.

3.00 PM : Numb to the human world. Beginning to think like a bee. Making occasional buzzing noises.

3.14 PM : Nip away from the beecam momentarily to don yellow-and-black striped leotard and black hat with antennae.

7.52 PM : Recall that I planned to write something daily for the Hooting Yard page. Am too transfixed by the beecam to move.

11.35 PM : Realise that I have spent the entire day observing either bees or the absence of bees on the beecam. Suffused with a warm glow of bee-ness. Continue to watch bees with now bleary eyes. Make a mental note to explain to readers that “bleary-eyed” has nothing to do with terrifying diminutive MP Hazel Blears.

1.07 AM : Drag myself reluctantly from beecam to bed. As I fall asleep, reflect upon the fact that I have never had so bee-centred a day as the day just gone. Resolve to be even more bee-minded in future.

4 thoughts on “Derailed By Bees

  1. In my slavish devotion to all things Hooting Yard I too have been watching the Beecast….
    Sadly I have yet to see a single bee…
    Perhaps you could arrange to send metal tapping machine alerts when any bees appear…
    I do hope this is not a sign of monomania on your part…

  2. well frank, i realise you’re down with bees and all, but i call beecam dull – it’s in black and white for bees sake!

    Perhaps this is deliberate as I am told that our friends the bees only see in a sort of monochrome, and thus by degrading the beecam’s colours they facilitate a kind of one-ness with the hive. I’ve yet to delve into the beecam, however in light of Frank’s comments I might avoid it for feat of becoming bee-dizened.


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