Outa_Spaceman has been spending his time very sensibly compiling a Hooting Yard Book o’ Days. It is in its early stages, but he has pinpointed some of the key dates in the calendar, those of startling significance in Hooting Yard world. To wit:
14 January : Feast Day of Saint Mungo
3, 4, 5 February : Muggletonian Great Holiday
6 February: The Munich Air Disaster
17 February: Tanis Diena
18 February: Yoko Ono’s birthday
26 March : Pansy Cradledew Day
14 April: First episode of Hooting Yard On The Air
6 May: The Hindenburg Disaster
8 May: White Lotus Day (anniversary of the passing of Madame Blavatsky)
14 May : Hazel Blears’ birthday
3 June : Hazel Blears’ resignation
6 June : David Blunkett’s birthday
18 July : Smokers’ Pop Tarts go on sale
19 July : Muggletonian Little Holiday
2 November : David Blunkett’s second resignation
13 December : Christopher Plummer’s birthday
14 December : Hooting Yard website appears in Interwebshire
15 December : David Blunkett’s first resignation
This is all splendid stuff and will act as a useful aide memoire for readers. Please use the Comments to suggest further dates for inclusion in this valuable Hooting Yard resource. It is to be hoped that we will have something to celebrate on every day of the year.
I suggest the next stage in the ‘Hooting Yard Book o’Days’ project may be to convert to ‘Blodgett’s Calendrical Recalibration’:
(a task I have already begun…)
I further respectfully suggest that this will give Mr. Key something to read out as a ‘Christmas Special’ later on this year…
43 Spate : Albino Hen Migration
“Don’t forget to shut the gate / on the 43rd of Spate.”
OSM : A word of warning. The last person who attempted a comprehensive Blodgettian calendrical conversion was driven to madness, and is now chained up and drooling in the Cardinal Preen Mercy Home For Demented Paupers.
I appreciate your concern for my well being Mr. Key…
Fear not, for I intend wearing my patented Crainial Integument Enhancement Helmet during the conversion process…
Of course this means, that should the conversion be successful, I shall never be able to remove the helmet for the rest of my days…
Its a sacrifice I am willing to make…
Apropos of additions, could we add Grunting Day (traditionally 29 January (or the Blodgettian equivalent)) to the list? One can never have too many opportunities for grunting…
I’ve been searching for a suitable pig festival that focused on the veneration pigs (atop a plinth perhaps) rather than the eating of them…
I have established that the Albino Hen Migration takes place on 12th of April…
I will do an update postage on the Book o’ Days in, say, February, to incorporate these excellent suggestions, and others that may come in.
20 January : Penguin Awareness Day
29 January : National Potato Day
26 January : Frank Key Dreams of the Glove Of Ib (2005)
27 April : Gerard Manley Hopkins first mesmerizes a duck (1871)
24 September : National Punctuation Day;
1 November : Remember to deworm your goat
22 November : Day of the Kennedy Assassination (1963)
23 November : But I Have My Own Theory Day
? : Festival of Argumentative Music at Ulm
? : Picnic for Inspectors
Mr Webster : Many thanks for these additions, some of them absolutely essential!
Mr. Webster’s suggestions have been duly noted and entered…
Though I note that Grunting day and National Potato day clash…
National Grunting Potato Day..?
Both the Festival of Argumentative Music at Ulm and the Picnic for Inspectors (Detectives ?)
Will need a little more research..)
One more addition:
23rd February anniversary of the Hooting Yard to O’Houlihan’s Wharf branch line re-opening.
When one is told that it is National Potato Day one naturally grunts. Hence the clash
February 10th Feast of St. Scholastica
16 March: Dobsonday
18 March : Peter Maxwell Davies illicitly devours a swan (2005)
19 September : Argentine Inventors’ Day (birthday of László József Bíró, 1899)
The date today: 27th of March, 48 AJFK
[The mechanisms of Project ÜBERCOÖRDINATOR have found at least 40 more commemorations and holidays, but I should stop here to cocoördinate my efforts with Outa_Spaceman. Madness lies in all directions.]
Ahoy Mr. Webster..!
Feel free to contact me through the pneumatic tower network…
(e-mail keeps sending my messages to you back saying you don’t exist…)
Right! I’ll get right back into existence then.
Observances based on selected Times newspaper clipping from 1785 to 1790.
12 January : Release a bear into the bedchamber of a cuckold.
16 January : Go to bed as soon as it is dark.
14 April: The Goat Hunt.
19 June : Take an Irishman to the Opera Day.
25 June : Philosophical fireworks display.
27 June : Shout for another drink before your coffin is nailed up.
6 July : Asshole Day; attach electrical apparatus to your doorbell.
13 October : Eat filberts with the clergy.
13 October : The Painted Bull Run at Holborn Bridge.
20 October : Scientifically educate the young to vice. (This is simply the HPV vaccination day.)
30 October : Elope with a nimble lamp lighter. (That was not a cryptic crossword clue, set to it.)
[“Poor man kills himself with drinking in a northern borough; vestry clerk suggests that master of the workhouse should let rest of poor out to kill themselves and ease parish of them. – 6th July 1790”. 6 July was also the date of duel over an electrified doorknob.]
An non-exhaustive list of dates Frank Key found significant between 2003 and 2006.
[These all come from The Hooting Yard Archives. Dates in square brackets are cross-references to Hooting Yard posts.]
13 January : Birthday of Swedish football manager Tord Grip (1938) [2006-06-10]
14 January : Minnie Crunlop’s writing career begins (1931) and ends (1941); mark her name, and mark it well [2005-06-29]
? : James I publishes a book promoting Sunday evening women’s wrestling. [2004-04-03]
? : Charles I bans Sunday evening women’s wrestling.
30 January : Charles I beheaded (1649) [I’d just like to point that out.]
03 February : The sinking of the Titanic (1912) [2005-02-03]
06 February : Munich Air Disaster; a day for ones thoughts to turn to custard [2006-02-06]
12 February : Birthday of Jan Swammerdam, the Dutch scientist and pioneer of the microscope (1637) [2005-02-12]
17 February : Tanis Diena, the sacred pig holiday [2005-02-17]
21 February : Dobson on the radio (1955) [2005-02-21]
The first day of the March lunar cycle : Plant your homunculi. [2005-06-23]
06 March : Roger Bannister breaks the four minute mile at Iffley Road running track (1954) [2006-02-03]
14 March : The world was almost certainly not created on this day [2004-03-14]
16 March : Birthday of Punter Hoonjaw, author Attack of the Zargons from Planet Git (1904) [2004-03-16]
17 March : Murder the English Language Day [2004-03-17]
21 March : Birthday of Urbane Geistige Geist [2006-03-21]
24 March : Kazimiras Diena, the return of the larks! [2004-03-24]
25 March : Pansy Cradledew Eve; Yoko Ono does not get out bed for a week (1969) [2004-03-25]
26 March : Pansy Cradledew Day
The third or forth Tuesday of March : First Blue Day of Imbecilic Glee [2004-12-13]
April : April’s hedge aura: “that April Foliage Plants are quilt padded.”
01 April : Death of Max Ernst; birth of Apple Computers (1976) [2004-03-17]
May : May’s edge aura: “pixie rain hoods / hysteria swarthy.”
15 May : Death of Emily Dickinson (1886) [2004-07-13]
18 May : Death of Perry Como; share your anecdote about gigantic balls of volatile gas [2004-09-02]
June : June’s hedge aura: “veiny crimp.”
01 June : Emphatically not the holiday of Cardea, the goddess of door handles and hinges. [2005-06-01]
16 June : DOBSONDAY; also Bloomsday, whatever that might be [2004-06-16]
21 June : Kalaallit Nunaat National Day [2005-06-21]
25 June : Philosophical fireworks display. [2004-09-10]
30 June : Contemplate the Groist [2005-06-30]
? : Second Blue Day of Imbecilic Glee [Stinging nettles in season.] [2004-12-13]
July’s hedge aura: “pastel / soft milky downy / silky.”
03 July : Birthday of Franz Kafka (1883) [2004-07-03]
10 July : Millard Fillmore inaugurated as the Potus; Pang Hill Orphanage receives a visit from Mr Dust (1850) [2004-07-10]
14 July : Bastille Day; birthday of Gerald R Ford; Declamation of the First Dada Manifesto [2004-07-14]
23 July : Neptunalia; picnic and lark about [2004-07-23]
August’s hedge aura: “thorny quilt /metal filigree.”
01 August : A month of rest.
September’s hedge aura: “pastel flame thorny and pointed hairs.”
19 September : Argentine Inventors’ Day: the birthday of László József Bíró (1899-1985) [2005-09-02]
30 September : Saint Eustace’s Day [2004-11-21]
12 October : Marigold Chew stages an intervention (1959); spurn Tolkeinish fantasy [2005-01-01]
16 October : Codification of the rules of mansfield; Katherine Mansfield seeks treatment for tuberculosis (1922)
05 November : Guy Falkes Day; “Remember, too, the case of the distressed pig, solved by Special Agent Blot.” [2004-11-05]
11 December : The day the Rt Rev Tom Butler went potty: ‘I’m the Bishop of Southwark. It’s what I do.’ (2006); distribute toys [2006-12-11]
13 December : Birthday of Christopher Plummer (1927); Birthday of Dick Van Dyke (1925) [2004-12-13]
? December : Minnie Harrison seen extruding ectoplasm in Middlesbrough (1948); experience the world through a film of ectoplasmic goo [2005-01-18]
13 December : Third Blue Day of Imbecilic Glee [2004-12-13]
[There must be a great deal more, but I’m done for now. I must have firm dates for the days I’ve marked in bold.]
12 November : Dick van Dyke rescued by porpoises (2010)