A Cautionary Tale

It gurgled, then it swept away. What it was I could not say. I saw it in a looking-glass, just after a mesmeric pass. The medium’s hands passed down my spine, moving in a plumb straight line. I glanced into the mirror then and counted slowly up to ten. The thing appeared atop my head. Its talons tore. It slashed. I bled. Then it gurgled and swept away. I’m going to sell it on eBay if I can find out where it went. The medium, by the way, is bent. Bent and crooked, a charlatan. He said he’d summon the Grunty Man. Instead this thing attacked and fled, leaving a gash upon my head. I must apply a poultice now, then turn the medium into a cow by casting a fiendish spell on him, a spell so fiendish and so grim that he’ll regret he messed with me. I am the Grunty Man, you see.