Thanks to Backwatersman, a “sort of Edwardian Out of Office Assistant”. In future I shall deploy this at such times as the cranial integuments get clogged up with dust and cobwebs and the Muse flees o’er hill and dale – in other words, when I am felled by vacancy-between-the-ears syndrome. If all goes well you should not see it too often.
I’ve been in touch with Mr. Gates to suggest some kind of franchising agreement. No reply yet.