‘Twas on this day in the year Two Thousand and Four
Mr Key came a-knocking at a filthy black door.
The door was in Denmark Street off the Charing Cross Road
Where the Sex Pistols rehearsed and punk rock did explode.
But now behind the door was a radio station,
By far the finest in the entire nation.
For this was the home of Resonance FM,
A radiophonic treasure, a jewel, a gem.
As Mr Key did upon the black door knock
The time was approaching four o clock.
A buzzer buzzed, and in he stepped
Into a hallway that had never been swept.
Then through to a back room where laptops did hum
“Mr Key” said a fellow, “Thank God you have come!”
He was tall and bearded was this man,
The then station manager Knut Aufermann.
In a corner a bucket caught leaks from the ceiling
And upon the walls the paint was peeling.
It was a squalid place for sure
(Resonance is not based there any more.)
“I am here to broadcast my first ever radio show,”
Said Mr Key. Said Knut “Yes, I know.
You must clamber up that narrow stair
And when you get to the top please beware
The floor above is close to collapse
It will last another year or two perhaps.”
So up the stairs climbed Mr Key
Where he met a man called Malachi.
“Hello,” he said, “I’m your sound engineer.
My job’s to ensure the audience can hear
The sensible prose you’re going to spout
As our transmitter beams it out
To all four corners of the planetary sphere.
It is nearly time, so sit down here.”
He proffered a chair that was falling to bits,
But Mr Key sat and gathered his wits
He cleared his throat and tested the microphone
And he started to speak in mellifluous baritone
“This is Hooting Yard On the Air,” he said.
Indeed it was. And those seven words led
To seven whole years of Hooting Yard shows
To hours and hours of lopsided prose
For the moral instruction of a grateful nation
On the world’s most astonishing radio station.
And the shows are not lost in the dust of the past
Hundreds can be heard in the form of podcast
Yet ‘twas babble o’ the future when he knocked on that door
On the fourteenth of April, Two Thousand and Four.
The first ever episode of Hooting Yard On The Air will be repeated on Resonance104.4FM today ay 6.30 PM. A podcast will be available for download in the near future.