I have been wondering about the forty thieves in the tale of Ali Baba. As far as I am aware, we do not know their names, as we do the names of the seven dwarves in the story of Snow White. Admittedly, I have not done a lot of research. Knud Padde – of whom more, much more, later – has done such research, however, and in a privately-printed monograph he supplies us with this list:

1. Corky – a hireling thief, a chump, a talc-powdered wastrel.
2. Mutcho – greasy, vindictive, base.
3. Ibster – looms terrible in dreams, licks ice cream cones.
4. Guff – the boffin of the gang, and sniper, and Tippi Hedren penpal,
5. Spoors – great galumphing fool, Oppidan, thimble-fumbler.
6. Waxy – waxy.
7. Geraldo – of monstrous girth, of lively demeanour, of hand-stitched tunics.
8. Carsten – polishes off raisins, swigs tap water, goes shod in clogs.
9. Fang – inhabits palatial apartments with his wolf and his minuets.
10. Sudbury – exists on a higher plane, thumps things, distressed.
11. Oswin – suffers fools gladly, hung out to dry.
12. Bantock – dustpan and brush man, Hotspur, clackety rhythm.
13. Mort – hedger, was a water-bailiff, albino.
14. Chippy – wanting eggs.
15. Hardcastle – fevered brow, distorted spine, curly ringlets.
16. Aptod – when first he flew he blundered into branches of dark trees.
17. Shopworn – lacks the common touch, hoist by petards, a darling.
18. Urbane – urbane yet ditzy, polka-dotted, ruminant.
19. Dobbin – pumped gas back in Montana, unbridled savagery, lacks depth.
20. Inky – several contradictory reports, buff-coloured envelope, chalk dust.
21. Hig – shallow, potted, wet.
22. Anglepoise – Jesuit upbringing, weather station, tarred with broad brush.
23. Snapper – bolt upright, sprained ankles, Maoist.
24. Boomer – booming voice, bloody nose, best before dusk.
25. Chepstow – owls nest in his hair, he plays the piccolo, he eats mashed potato.
26. Zigzoo – champs at bits, stinks of Jarlsberger, often with conifers.
27. Delmore – lurid, spiteful, mechanical.
28. Esher – flabby, subject to fits, member of Tuesday Weld Fan Club.
29. Jetboy – likely to be found upon rotating things in park playgrounds.
30. Casement – proudly lumpen, secretly engaged to a flapper, podcaster.
31. Uck – abnormal alignment of head upon neck, neck grubby, hair unwashed.
32. Fig – a stone’s throw from the sea, green about the gills, hot to trot.
33. Straubenzee – sings the songs his mother taught him in that Darmstadt nursery.
34. Fogbound – clatters to and fro, goes haywire, made of cement.
35. Wailywaily – hidden behind shutters, brilliantine in his hair, indiscreet.
36. Burgess – over by the ice rink, underneath the arches, powered by batteries.
37. Mudguard – guards mud.
38. Pepinstow – thunderous hooves, brilliant plumage, exquisite table manners.
39. Dixon – marimba, clutching at straws, gin slings and blood oranges.
40. Quangocrat – double helpings of sausage-shaped dough snacks.