The Bleakest Link

Thrilling TV news! A fantastic new quiz show called The Bleakest Link begins tomorrow. Each week, the ghoulish wraiths of long-dead polar explorers, caked in ice, compete with each other to answer really hard questions. The winner is the icicle-dripping phantom who intones his answers in the bleakest, most ghastly tones. Filmed at an abandoned Antarctic weather station, the quiz features a tethered goat. A brain scanner attached to the goat measures the extent of its dreadful awe as each answer is boomed at it through a funnel, while a goat-physiology monitoring mechanism registers its fearful trembling. The quizmaster is Dale Winton, in a reindeer-hide anorak.

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