Disconcerted by days of unaccustomed silence at Hooting Yard, boffins have been poking and prodding at Mr Key’s pea-sized yet pulsating brain, trying to account for the lack of activity.

“What we have gleaned,” said one, a particularly astute and beardy boffin, “is that our beloved Mr Key has had his head buried in books for the past few days, interspersed with certain hiking adventures in high winds. This has diverted his attention, as both writer and reader, from the exciting 21st century world of blogs and blogging. We have recommended that to snap him out of his silence, he is to be sent for a few days to his glorious Motherland – that is, Belgium – in the hope that upon his return he will start tippy-tapping away as he usually does. Word has it that he may yet be ready to unleash a series of rattling yarns about Alger Hiss and Whittaker Chambers. It is unclear whether these tales will be based on historical fact, or whether Mr Key intends simply to make use of the names for a fictional ‘dismal duo’. Either way, we shall all look forward to some mighty prose issuing from the Key cranium when it has been refreshed by the Flanders air.”