As we have learned, from time to time the so-called “real world” catches up with Hooting Yard in quite charming ways. And what could be more charming, and more like something I made up, than the chance to adopt a lobster? I have to say I am extremely impressed that the National Lobster Hatchery, which offers this splendid opportunity, insists that the first stage of the process is to Name Your Lobster. Thus is the act of naming given its proper, paramount importance.

These conscientious lobsterists at the Hatchery have gone to the trouble of listing all their thousands of adopted lobsters, at the point where they are released into the wild, and so will your adopted lobster appear on the website when its turn comes. Note my assumption that you will be adopting a lobster as soon as you have finished reading this. Do not let me down.

While I do not wish to dictate in so important a matter as lobster nomenclature, I cannot help thinking that it would be a fine thing indeed if the waters around Padstow were to have clacking about in them lobsters named after your favourite Hooting Yard characters, such as Dobson, Tiny Enid, Old Halob, Dennis Beerpint, Little Severin The Mystic (Badger) Lobster, and the rest. Go on, you know it makes sense.

Please leave a note in the comments when you have named and adopted your lobster.