Life-Lessons, Number One

I think it is time for Hooting Yard to provide readers with life-lessons, some simple rules of conduct for prancing through a complicated world with elegance and brio. Mr Key is, of course, far too ignorant to be able to cobble together any such rules himself, so he will rely on the tried and tested wisdom of others. And to begin with, we have this unarguable rule to live by:

Never, ever question Higgins’ safety nous.

Make of that what you will, but bear in mind the awful fate of the last person who dared to question Higgins’ safety nous. Thereby hangs a tale to curdle the stomach and derange the collywobbles.

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