We know that the important thing about any televised foopball match is the demented wittering of the commentators. The 2010 World Cup has, in that sense, reached its climax with just a week of matches played. For I do not believe any commentator, however bonkers, will be able to better the stupendous words declaimed during tonight’s France v. Mexico tie:
“For a moment there, he looked like a baby gazelle who’d just plopped out of the womb.”
Obviously written by someone who has never made his omelette with gazelles’ eggs.
There is much I find confusing about the game of foopball.
Like, why is Lou Reed managing our national team?
Whom better to turn to, for the necessary Busload of Faith?
Isn’t Wayne Rooney’s head on upside down?