The Heroic Bus Driver Of Pointy Town

There was a heroic bus driver, and his name was Kim Fat Goo. He drove his bus through puddles. He drove it straight and true, though he swerved if he saw a duck or a pig or an infant human tiny or a succubus or an incubus as he steered towards the briny. He drove his bus across Pointy Town, heading for the sea. At the beach he stopped to let passengers off and he drank a flask of tea. Oh, Kim Fat Goo he drained his flask and he tipped the dregs in the sand, and he idled awhile on the promenade and he watched a spaceship land. Out poured a gaggle of alien beings with flippers and antennae and claws and flagrant disregard for the rubric of Pointy Town laws.

“We are an invasion force from the Planet of Contaminated Wheat. We are starveling spacemen and we need something to eat.”

“I will drive you to the pie shop,” said fearless Kim Fat Goo, “Get on the bus and sit quietly till we reach the pie shop queue.”

But he drove his bus up into the hills to a hermit’s abandoned hut, and he lured the invading spacemen in and sealed the doorway shut. So Kim Fat Goo the bus driver was the saviour of Pointy Town, and that is why his name rings out with imperishable renown.

9 thoughts on “The Heroic Bus Driver Of Pointy Town

  1. This is all very well, but I’d like to be reassured about the possibility of Kim Fat Goo’s bus having been contaminated by these aliens beckoning from the Planet of Contaminated Wheat (unless that is just a quaint moniker, which it may well be, and in fact there is no wheat on their planet at all). What with all this talk of ‘badger flu’ going around I am, as you would expect, rather touchy when it comes to talk of contamination and will most certainly not take ‘he sprayed a bit of disinfectant around’ as an answer

  2. I would much rather he burnt the bus and anything remotely connected with it, but after much thought (and eating of cake) I will begrudgingly accept this reply of yours on the basis that any other demands would make me a hypocrite (having often ‘sprayed a bit of disinfectant around’ to clear up diseases myself)

  3. Hmmm. Burning the always-reliable Pointy Town bus and anything remotely connected with it? How remotely? This is such an overreaction I am beginning to wonder if you have in fact contracted a virulent strain of badger flu.

  4. On your second point, I have been careful enough to keep relations with the Mustelidae family to a minimum for at least the last five weeks, so no fear of that my good sir!
    On your first point, though ‘remotely connected’ does indeed encompass a large proportion of that which makes up Pointy Town, one would be inclined to show some leniency and, say, maybe restrict the literally burning desire to destroy only things of an inanimate nature. Perhaps the seemingly reliable Pointy Town bus was friendly with other buses (or miscellaneous vehicles)? Was it known to hang around the bus depo on Friday nights? Did it ever flirt with tractors? I appreciate your reluctance to start setting fire to things, but damn it, a contamination is a contamination. What might have happened had not the Nazi’s burnt all of those books? Book plague would have spread across Europe in no time at all….

  5. Hi there

    With all this discussion of our township I thought it was about time we thanked you for putting Pointy Town on the map. Well, it already is on the map of the Yukon Territory here in Canada, but we don’t get to be in the news much. Pointy Town has just elected a Mayor for the first time, after being recognised as a township, and we have appointed a promotions chief to put us on the Web. The Mayor is Johnny Osikomiwasa (proud of his Inuit roots) and his buzz word this week is ‘promotion’. So that’s what I am doing. So I intend to climb to the top of Pointy Hill (it really is very pointy) and start promoting – well actually I will probably have to do the promoting from my office computer. So keep up the good work and tell the world about our Pointy Town. Hugs, Kelly (very tired, on fire watch)

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