Sandals Of Fire & Boiling Brains

There’s nothing quite like a bit of eye-popping religious frenzy, is there? Bear in mind, as you consider the spiritual wisdom that follows, that Allah is routinely described by his adherents as “merciful”. I’d hate to come across him in a bad mood…

The hellfire is a place of the most extreme suffering, the most extreme pain of every level that you can imagine – physical, mental, and spiritual pain and suffering and torment. It is a place where Allah will burn the skins of the people, and then he will recreate their skins, and burn the skins again, so that the people in there will taste the punishment. It is a place of heat, a place of pain, a place of suffering. The people will cry in agony for water. They will cry for a drink – something to cool them – and they will be given water, they will be given a drink, but it is boiling water that will scald their faces and burn their insides.

They will drink from a river, a river that is made from the pus that flows out of the wounds of the people of the hellfire. The wounds of the people of the hellfire will ooze pus, and this pus will gather together to form a river, and this is all they will have to drink. And their food will be the tree of Zakum, a tree the fruits of which are like the heads of devils. This tree is so bitter that if the people try to eat it, they can’t eat it. But they will force themselves, because there is nothing else to eat in the hellfire – a place where the people will neither live, nor will they die, a place where the people will fall into despair, arguing with each other, admonishing each other, criticizing each other. The fire will surround them in every place. The smallest punishment of the hellfire is that a person will wear a pair of sandals of fire, and their brain will boil….

Thus Anthony Abdul Rahim Green, spouting on Peace TV, amusingly dubbed the “24 Hour Islamic Spiritual Edutainment Satellite TV Channel”. Thanks to Mick Hartley. 

5 thoughts on “Sandals Of Fire & Boiling Brains

  1. A guy i knew once referred to Islam as ‘a comedy religion’. The bits i’ve read by so-called Muslims sages, and from the Koran, sound like they were written by an uppity 5-year old, e.g. “And the bad people will go to a nasty place where there won’t be any chocolate but just lots of nasty things all the time, so they know how bad they are.”

  2. The smallest punishment of the hellfire is that a person will wear a pair of sandals of fire, and their brain will boil

    It occurred to me that one might simply remove one’s firey sandals and then wait for the skin to re-grow (as it purportedly does in hellfire), however Allah may have manufacturerd these shoes with a very difficult to unfasten buckle.

    This unlikely depiction of the afterlife should be contrasted with your own story from the “beyond”… I forget the title. I think tubs of “grace” were involved.

  3. KeepOfTheWelds…
    I think you may be referring to one of my personal favourite Hooting Yard stories…
    The Big Metal Fence…
    I have spent many nights lying awake wondering what became of Ng

    O.S.M.

  4. Oh… I forgot to mention…
    If one were to replace ‘the hellfire’ with ‘Littlehampton’ it almost reads like a holiday brochure…

  5. Just listened to this on the podcast… best thing I’ve heard in yonks. Does it remind anyone else of when the nun gets killed in ‘Artaud’s The Monk’… grim.

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