I am often asked what it was like to be borp. For example, I may be leaning insouciantly against a mantelpiece at a swish sophisticated cocktail party when a fellow-guest will approach me, sometimes in a wheelchair, and say: “I’m … Continue reading
I received an invitation to attend a swish sophisticated cocktail party, and decided to wear for the occasion my second-best bib and tucker. On the evening itself, with the party in full swing, I was leaning insouciantly against a mantelpiece … Continue reading
Last week I went for my first appointment at the Tuesday Injection Clinic (which I think of as the Tuesday Injection Club). I learned a number of things. One, that I would be attending every fortnight, rather than every month, … Continue reading
A letter plops onto the mat from Tord Grip. I wondered if this was the same Tord Grip who is something of a luminary in the world of foopball coaching, but apparently it is a different Tord Grip altogether. Anyway, … Continue reading
I was reading the other day about closed-down shipyards and came upon a reference to Swan Hunter. This served to remind me of a fellow I met recently whose business card – which he handed to me – announced his … Continue reading
The other day I met a man who claimed he could eat his own head. I considered this preposterous, and said so. We were at a sophisticated cocktail party and he was leaning insouciantly against a mantelpiece. “I can prove … Continue reading
There is a scene in the second series of Game Of Thrones where Daenarys Targaryen and her raggle-taggle band of Dothraki followers, having struggled across the vast and desolate Red Wastes, their food and water supplies exhausted, seek entrance to … Continue reading
The willow warbler is a type of bird which warbles in willows. I am not a bird – obviously! – but I, too, have warbled in willows. It is a simple enough matter. What you do is locate a clump … Continue reading
I keep all my eggs in one basket. I have several baskets, obtained during what I like to think of as my “basket-acquiring years”, but there is only one in which I put my eggs. This is a small, oval, … Continue reading
“You must be that fire-priestess everyone is talking about.” This is a line from Game Of Thrones that I have been hoping to use in everyday conversation. I could, of course, just say it next time I find myself leaning … Continue reading
Our survey of artworks continues with Plenipotentiary With Cornflakes Carton And Nightjar. This is a large painting, though I have not measured it, showing, as its title indicates, a plenipotentiary with the traditional attributes of his office, a cornflakes carton … Continue reading
Like absolutely everybody else throughout the land – with the sole exception of Nige – I have become enamoured of Scandinavian crime fiction. That is why, the other day, I picked up a cheap paperback copy of Headhunters by Jo … Continue reading
Every so often, if I am leaning insouciantly against a mantelpiece at a swish cocktail party, a fellow-guest will approach me and say something along the lines of “Mr Key, you probably know more about ornithology than anyone else in … Continue reading