‘Twas on this day in the year Two Thousand and Four

Mr Key came a-knocking at a filthy black door.

The door was in Denmark Street off the Charing Cross Road

Where the Sex Pistols rehearsed and punk rock did explode.

But now behind the door was a radio station,

By far the finest in the entire nation.

For this was the home of Resonance FM,

A radiophonic treasure, a jewel, a gem.

As Mr Key did upon the black door knock

The time was approaching four o clock.

A buzzer buzzed, and in he stepped

Into a hallway that had never been swept.

Then through to a back room where laptops did hum

“Mr Key” said a fellow, “Thank God you have come!”

He was tall and bearded was this man,

The then station manager Knut Aufermann.

In a corner a bucket caught leaks from the ceiling

And upon the walls the paint was peeling.

It was a squalid place for sure

(Resonance is not based there any more.)

“I am here to broadcast my first ever radio show,”

Said Mr Key. Said Knut “Yes, I know.

You must clamber up that narrow stair

And when you get to the top please beware

The floor above is close to collapse

It will last another year or two perhaps.”

So up the stairs climbed Mr Key

Where he met a man called Malachi.

“Hello,” he said, “I’m your sound engineer.

My job’s to ensure the audience can hear

The sensible prose you’re going to spout

As our transmitter beams it out

To all four corners of the planetary sphere.

It is nearly time, so sit down here.”

He proffered a chair that was falling to bits,

But Mr Key sat and gathered his wits

He cleared his throat and tested the microphone

And he started to speak in mellifluous baritone

“This is Hooting Yard On the Air,” he said.

Indeed it was. And those seven words led

To seven whole years of Hooting Yard shows

To hours and hours of lopsided prose

For the moral instruction of a grateful nation

On the world’s most astonishing radio station.

And the shows are not lost in the dust of the past

Hundreds can be heard in the form of podcast

Yet ‘twas babble o’ the future when he knocked on that door

On the fourteenth of April, Two Thousand and Four.

*

The first ever episode of Hooting Yard On The Air will be repeated on Resonance104.4FM today ay 6.30 PM. A podcast will be available for download in the near future.

Look!

This is the set of six exceedingly rare out of print pamphlets available to the highest bidder in this weekend’s fundraiser auction on ResonanceFM. There are many more splendid items for which you can empty your pockets, so go here for further details.

The Ugo books contain heart-wrenching tales of Ugo and his blind Ma and his pal Ulf, set in the old town of Plovdiv. They are fully illustrated with black and white reproductions of details from some of the masterpieces of Western art. Each book, originally published in an edition of, I think, just twelve copies in 2004, is signed by the author and a dedication to the successful bidder will be added before they’re popped in the post.