In order to fully appreciate (White Man) In Hammersmith Palais, a song written and recorded by The Clash in 1978, we must get a firm grasp upon the words in the title. Before we do so, let me be quite … Continue reading
One foul and thunderous day, Prince Fulgencio was much pained to learn that there was, running amok in his castle, a reprehensible tot. “Whence comes this reprehensible tot?” he asked the henchman who had brought him this news. Prince Fulgencio … Continue reading
This week in my cupboard at The Dabbler I offer some handy tips on etiquette. Those of you likely to encounter, over the weekend, black-hearted Prince Fulgencio and/or grunting farmyard pigs will find this advice particularly helpful. As far as … Continue reading
I tripped and toppled and tumbled down and down and came to land flat on my back in Dingly Dell. A bump or two to the head during my tumble conked me out, and by the time I awoke, flat … Continue reading
I am indebted to Rob Howard for drawing to my attention the inscription which the Assyrian king Ashur-nasir-pal II (884 – 859 BC) had carved, repeatedly, all over his palace. As Mr Howard says, it reminds us, in its verbosity … Continue reading
There are certain beasts and creatures for which the names we use are inaccurate and misleading. A seahorse is not a horse, nor is a jellyfish a fish. Doubly erroneous is the guinea pig, which does not come from Guinea … Continue reading
We all know that good manners cost nothing, and that civility makes the world bearable. Here, then, are some useful extracts from the forthcoming Hooting Yard Book Of Etiquette: Correct Form Of Address When Ushered Into The Presence Of Prince … Continue reading
It is traditional, at the turning of the year, for reader Mike Jennings to update his exhaustive bibliography of out of print pamphlets by Dobson. “It seems that 2011 has been a lean year indeed for Dobsonian scholarship,” writes Mr … Continue reading
“How can I allay my fear of death?” asked a latter-day Edgar Allan Poe in Notes & Queries in yesterday’s Grauniad. A decidedly fatuous answer was given by one Fred Huckle of London SW1, who suggested “Develop a belief in … Continue reading
In a piece marking the death, at 85, of General Alexander Haig, Christopher Hitchens described the fifty-ninth US Secretary of State as a “slobbering dauphin”. This phrase will be more familiar to Hooting Yard readers as the one commonly used … Continue reading
It is likely that most, if not all, of the nuncios you have ever come across have been Papal nuncios. Certainly that was the case with me, until a few weeks ago. I am not a practising Catholic, you understand, … Continue reading
This piece first appeared in April 2006. Prince Fulgencio had a heart of stone and his palace was a palace exceeding glum. No, no, it was not a palace, it was a castle, turreted and towered, with many flags and … Continue reading
If you have a dinghy, be sure to maintain it properly. Like all seagoing craft, dinghies can suffer from wear and tear which, if allowed to continue unchecked, will imperil their ability to remain afloat, especially in choppy seas or … Continue reading
This picture shows the mezzotintist Rex Tint, as a child, painting a portrait of his sister Dot Tint, chronicler of vampiric sea shanties and much else besides. Rex had great pretensions, in his curdled youth, to becoming a painter of … Continue reading
Yesterday I was very pleased to be a guest writer at the IGGY Summer U. The students on the creative writing course, aged 13 to 16, were charming, enthusiastic, creative and full of ideas. One of the things I shared … Continue reading